It is my pleasure to introduce you to my friend and our family photographer, Jessica! Be prepared, this post is loaded with family photographs and full of love and admiration for Jessica.

I LOVE photographs. I’ve been behind the camera since I received my first as a gift in fifth grade. Taking pictures is the ONE interest I developed in childhood that carried through all the years into adulthood. Others are empty handed in moments I wouldn’t think of being without a camera. Others wax and wane with pictures, years missing from the photo album, or just a few strays here and there. I’m the obsessed one, the one with camera in hand capturing every moment. I frame up pictures in my mind when I’m empty handed, and my day is thrown off if I show up to an important event and discover I have a dead battery. I keep albums for our family and each of our children, and my negatives, discs and memory cards are the only possession I’d grab in a fire (family an obvious first!). Writing and photography two careers I’ve always aspired to, but for years never thought realistic. This space, a welcomed outlet for developing both.

There are just a few things that remain of us when we pass from this world…

Our legacy.

Our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren if we’re lucky to live long enough.

And photographs.

Sure there are rings and heirlooms, and a rare few have published books and composed and performed songs that live for generations, but ultimately any given life is narrowed to a legacy and some photographs. With that reality in mind, I value and prioritize professional family photographs.

So you can only imagine how elated I was to discover Jessica was a photographer when we first met five years ago! Today, I honor Jessica for taking those photographs, capturing those beautiful moments in time, for me, and for my family.

For the freedom I experience every time I look at this picture from my daughter’s 4-year photo shoot, thank you Jessica.

For walking with us into the deep, capturing a photo that was one of my favorites from the second I saw it, thank you Jessica.

For a special pregnancy shoot with my sister and the picture that brought me to tears, the one in which I saw hope amidst so much uncertainty and fear, thank you Jessica.

For setting up great family photos – this will always be one of my favorites, thank you Jessica.

For taking the only picture everyone on Twitter has known me by for two years, thank you Jessica.

For a photograph that signified a fresh start after six+ years of trauma and chaos, thank you Jessica.

For this bittersweet photo, my last pregnancy and the last photograph of us as a family of four, thank you Jessica.

Today I’m grateful for you Jessica, the woman behind the camera in every one of these photographs, the woman responsible for capturing moments that will last a lifetime and beyond, the woman who has the courage to do what she loves. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

Amy

I asked Jessica to share a few words about her love of photography and she greatly exceeded my expectations with this. From Jessica, in her own words, with much heart…

I’ve always been a true extrovert, a REAL people person. I’ve always had a knack for talking and talking to anyone. What I didn’t know until maybe five years ago is that I also have a knack for photography. What started as a love for others’ work has turned into my career.

I feel so fortunate to have been given the opportunity to capture and document the lives of my friends and family. I say “friends” because of how close I feel to a family after spending just a session with them. I know all their faces, their laugh lines, their kids’ eye sparkles, giggles, who hides behind daddy’s legs, and who is a complete ham in front of the camera. I see “my families” (that’s what I call my clients) through my lens while smiling at them. Capturing their moments warms my heart. I’ve had the opportunity to spend the day with so many different families bouncing from one feel to the next. Crazy, spunky, spirited families, to soft, gentile, emotional families. Children that LOVE the camera and those that I have to work with, sing songs to, tickle, and play peek-a-boo.

Photography has spoken to me over the years and has become something I am so proud of. It’s been a blessing for my family. I get to stay home with my boys, but when I go to work my kids know that mommy LOVES what she does. My boys peek over my shoulder while I’m editing and say “I didn’t know you took Cooper’s pictures today,” or “Wow mom, that’s a good one.”

My goal with every family is to document the real moments. The way those parents looked when they were “parenting” their children. Mom’s big smile, her soft hands, squinty glimpses, the way she looks at her babies with such love. Dad’s muscular arms, big shoes, his tight embrace while he throws his little boy in the air and catches him, and his scruffy face. One day all we will be left with is the memories of our parents. Our minds can only hold so much without a visual reminder. Photography gives us what we are missing in our memories, it fills the void, fills our walls with the smiles of our children, it fills up social media sights with what we are most fond of, and photography literally fills my heart with happiness.

Jessica

*NOTE: If you live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and would like to hire Jessica, please send me an email or message and I will forward you Jessica’s contact information. Jessica has not paid me to speak kindly of her photography business, and we have compensated Jessica in full for every photo session you see in this post.

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is WELCOME. 

Ready. Set. GO!

My daughter dances. We’re at a new studio, so I’m still getting acclimated. Each week I meet and greet the few people I know, and find my secret place to watch through the windows. All in that secret space – my daughter’s class, the class across the way with middle school girls, and the class across the other way with high school dancers. The high school girls move me. The sassy song playing repeatedly, dancers in the dark, twirling and swirling, down on the floor, arms up, down, and all around. These girls are awesome, and I want to dance like them.

When I was a girl, I wanted to be a ballerina. In my adult years, I’ve daydreamed of being a back-up dancer for a singer. Fierce and powerful, without hesitating a single step. I want to be like that. Maybe it’s a mixture of beautiful ballerina and fierce backup dancer that I want to be?

These girls dancing. I watch them every week. The little ones behind me, the big ones in front of me.

This week, the high school girls came out in the hall, out of the normal routine. Alone with their phones for a bit, then talking.

My baby on the floor took one of their water bottles and started playing. They gathered around, in fact, hovered around. A girl I noticed had been quiet prior was now close by the baby. She told me she nannied for four children this past summer. Quiet girl with much behind those eyes, I had identified earlier as maybe being like myself, and now this love for the baby so evident, bright and shining. Then all the girls, loving on the baby. Just as they were. Just as I was. Just as the baby was. All quietly giggling, watching, admiring this baby, those sweet toes, those precious little hands pushing on the bottle making snapping and crackling noises and baby smiling up at the girls. I felt so welcome among these girls 20 years younger than me. Minimal words necessary. We were one. There is hope in this generation, camaraderie. Welcome.

Stop.

They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion; they will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord — the grain, the new wine and the olive oil, the young of the flocks and herds. They will be like a well-watered garden, and they will sorrow no more. Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. I will satisfy the priests with abundance, and my people will be filled with my bounty,” declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 31: 12-14

Amy

It is my pleasure to introduce you to my daughter Elsa and her friend Hannah, two girls that represent the next generation of moms! I have had this post on my heart for months, so I am happy to be able to finally share it with you today.

Months ago, Elsa had her friend Hannah over to play. I was changing my daughter’s diaper on the floor, and Hannah and Elsa were watching me. Out of the blue, Elsa said to Hannah “Are you going to be a good mom when you get bigger?” Taken aback by this question, I responded immediately with an adamant “You girls are going to be AWESOME moms!”

I don’t remember what else I said that day, but it doesn’t even matter. The fact is that I was shocked that my six-year-old was asking her friend IF she was going to be a “good mom” someday! I couldn’t help but wonder how it was she got to this place. How is it that in our American culture, a six-year-old has been exposed to so many messages about mothering, subtly and not so subtly, that she is already questioning a friend about her future mothering abilities? And what does that say about my own daughter’s confidence in her future mothering abilities? If she’s asking her friend “Are you going to be a good mom when you get bigger?” then she is likely asking that of herself.

Whether we innately want to be “good moms,” or this message is passed through our culture, or both, I have come to despise the phrase “good mom.” And the fact that my daughter already has a sense or fear about this “good mom” concept makes me want to stand up for all the girls of the next generation and say with all clarity and conviction – let’s eliminate the notion of “good mom” once and for all!

I was a “good girl.” I can’t say exactly what constitutes a “good girl,” but I know I was one. I didn’t do much wrong and I didn’t cause much trouble, and that’s just who I was.

So when I became a mother, I naturally wanted to be a “good mom.” The only problem was that I was never exactly sure what a “good mom” was, nor am I 10 years after becoming a mother. We all have a sense of a “good mom” when we see one, and there seems to be a lot of pressure to be a “good mom.” Even before I became a mom, I had people tell me I was going to be a “good mom,” but funny thing is once you become a mom and have some real experience behind you, nobody goes around telling you if you’re actually a “good mom” or not, so you’re never quite sure how you’re doing. Yes, your instinct tells you when you’ve done something right, and you’ll certainly find out when you’ve done something wrong as a mom, but there is no concrete definition of “good mom” we can use to verify YES, I’m doing this right, or NO, I’m doing that wrong.

“Good mom.” This nebulous”good mom.”

Does a “good mom” give birth naturally, medication free? Is she a “good mom” if she has an epidural? (3,680,000 results on Google search)? What if she has a c-section? (59,100,000 results on Google search)

Does a “good mom” breast feed until the recommended one-year of age? Is she still a “good mom” if she nurses until three months and then formula feeds (6,190,000 results on Google search)? What if she only formula feeds?

Does a “good mom” make her baby’s food from scratch, boiling organic food and then milling it by hand? Is she still a “good mom” if she just buys the old fashioned jars of Gerber baby food? (173,000,000 results on Google search)

Does a “good mom” stay home full-time to care for her children? Is she still a “good mom” if she chooses to work part-time or full-time, or if she has to work full-time or nights or weekends to make ends meet (132,000,000 results on Google search)?

Does a “good mom” send her kids to public school or private school, or does she homeschool? (2,290,000 results on Google search)?

Does a “good mom” hover over her children, supervising them every moment, making sure they are behaving properly, not getting in harm’s way? Is she still a “good mom” if she sends them outside to play and only checks on them once in a while? Or does a “good mom” play with her children and engage them during all waking hours so they can achieve optimal development? (24,600,000 results on Google search)?

Does a “good mom” prepare a homemade meal every night and include all the food groups? Is she still a “good mom” if she gets a basic meal on the table most nights and brings her kids out for fast food here and there? (2,140,000 results on Google search)?

Or how about some even more nebulous ones…

Is she a “good mom” if she gets called by her child’s principal because her child misbehaved in school? Is she still a “good mom” if she gets called two or three times?

Is she a “good mom” if she brought her child to school one day too soon after the lice treatments, and even after all the work she did, it’s discovered that the lice weren’t gone yet and have now spread to other children in the classroom? (I’m sure it’s happened thousands of times.)

Is she a “good mom” if her teen hates church when faith is the most important thing in the world to her?

Can she feel confident she is a “good mom” when her child has autism, a learning disability, attention deficit disorder, bipolar disorder, attachment disorder, some vague undetermined “not otherwise specified” or “developmental delay” or any number of diagnoses where the cause is unknown, not fully understood, and/or partially genetic, and she has therapists and doctors and psychologists reminding her of all the different ways she needs to parent her child? (Let me be clear on this one, the answer is YES.)

Listen folks. I could go on and on. This makes my head swim and seeing those Google stats makes me realize why moms have a hard time feeling confident.

The fact remains true. The definition of a “good mom” is nebulous and therefore unattainable.

Perhaps we should reframe our notion of “good mom” into something like “doing her best as a mom” or “loves her children with wild abandon even though she’s not a perfect mom.”

Give yourself some grace as a mom, extend another mom grace for her journey, and fully accept the grace God offers you every single day. I will never feel sufficient or proficient to carry out the task of mothering on my own, but I am not alone. For God says in 1 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Although we are not perfect human beings, nor perfect moms, and maybe not always “good moms,” we can rest in peace knowing there is a God that offers grace. And there are millions of moms, dads, grandparents, and others to provide support when we need help along the way.

So on that note, let’s ditch that old-fashioned notion of “good mom” for all the moms of the next generation.

For Hannah.

 For Lucy.

For Ingrid.

For Raegan.

For Eva.

For Annika.

For Riese.

For Haylee.

For Briana.

For Lexi.

For Ava.

For Emma.

For Julia & Lucy.

For Hanna.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 1 Corinthians 12:9

Amy

*A special thanks to all the moms that gave me permission to use their daughters’ pictures in this post.

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last two hours of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is GRASP. 

Ready. Set. GO!

I admit, I’ve been having some body image issues lately. My baby is nine months, and I’ve been stuck five pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight for four months.

Last Sunday, getting ready for church, I was possibly at my worst. I stood in the closet, looking for what to wear. I put on a pear of my bigger pants. Even those didn’t fit. This is the problem I’ve had for months. Nothing fits except the leggings. Capri leggings in the summer, and now long leggings for the colder weather. None of the regular pants fit and it is making me crazy. Some say, “oh, just get some different pants,” or “don’t worry, you’ll fit into them soon enough.” But it has really been getting me down that NONE of the pants fit in my closet, and I don’t want to buy all new pants!

So this pair of pants, one of the bigger pair, was my best bet. I put them on and the fat rolled off the side just as I hated with every other pair. I wish I could just be ok with it and wear them that way. But I feel fat and uncomfortable with that fat rolling off the side.

Then I wonder if a shirt will help cover it up. That didn’t help at all. In fact, the shirt highlights the fat even more.

Maybe a double layer will help. The plain sweater, camoflauge it all? Nope. That didn’t do it either. The fat still shows through even with the double layer. I am feeling worse and worse as every layer goes on.

Then I strip it all off and put on the flowy dress with the flowy vest and leggings. And it all feels covered, and nobody can see all of the dilemma I faced in that closet, the tears, the agony, the fight within myself.

I look over at that dress I wore one year ago when I was pregnant. Oh so pretty. Bought that regular dress so I could “wear it after,” but it still doesn’t fit, and that makes me just want to be pregnant all my life so I don’t have to worry about feeling fat anymore.

And then I hear crying from the room next door to that closet. Little baby. I enter, and there is baby standing up in her crib, and I grasp at the beauty I birthed from this body. This body, what I call fat, birthed this being. And enters another being I birthed, my son. From within this fat, came him too. And they are beautiful. And they love. And they are so much more than my fat, my feelings of inadequacy in my own body. And it all makes more sense, and it all puts it in a new light. And I grasp for the truth God speaks to my heart…I feel fat, but I am blessed. And God says I am beautiful.

Stop.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Amy

September is Blog Month at Compassion International. As a Compassion Blogger, my goal is to share my heart for children in poverty and encourage others to change lives through child sponsorship.

This is the last week of Blog Month. As of this afternoon, 715 children still needed sponsors if we are to meet Compassion’s goal of 3,108 children sponsored in just 30 days!

Together, we can change the lives of children in poverty! If you have ever felt called to sponsor a child through Compassion International, I strongly encourage you to take a leap of faith and click here for more information.

This week, I gave my seven-year-old daughter an opportunity to step into the shoes of a child waiting for a sponsor. She whole-heartedly agreed, so we looked through the Compassion website for a special little girl that tugged at her heart. We found a sweet three-year-old from Bolivia named Alejandra.

I told my daughter she should write about how she would feel if she was Alejandra, and gave her four writing prompts.

1) How do you feel?

2) What are you scared of?

3) What do you need?

4) What do you wish for?

This evening, I humbly introduce you to the “voice” of three-year-old Alejandra as written from the perspective of my seven-year-old daughter. 

I feel sad and lonely.

I am scared of robbers and storms.

I need food and friends.

I wish for sun and rainbows.

It’s as simple as that. Little Alejandra is still in need of a sponsor. For more information about Alejandra, click here. Imagine how much love and hope Alejandra will feel when she gets a sponsor!

These are the final days of Compassion’s Blog Month, and hundreds of children are still waiting for a sponsor. Let’s rally around this goal and sponsor those remaining 715 children! 

One last call (for now!)…if you want to sponsor a child through Compassion International, click here!

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18: 16

Amy