Meet Me At This Moment

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last two hours of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is GRASP. 

Ready. Set. GO!

I admit, I’ve been having some body image issues lately. My baby is nine months, and I’ve been stuck five pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight for four months.

Last Sunday, getting ready for church, I was possibly at my worst. I stood in the closet, looking for what to wear. I put on a pear of my bigger pants. Even those didn’t fit. This is the problem I’ve had for months. Nothing fits except the leggings. Capri leggings in the summer, and now long leggings for the colder weather. None of the regular pants fit and it is making me crazy. Some say, “oh, just get some different pants,” or “don’t worry, you’ll fit into them soon enough.” But it has really been getting me down that NONE of the pants fit in my closet, and I don’t want to buy all new pants!

So this pair of pants, one of the bigger pair, was my best bet. I put them on and the fat rolled off the side just as I hated with every other pair. I wish I could just be ok with it and wear them that way. But I feel fat and uncomfortable with that fat rolling off the side.

Then I wonder if a shirt will help cover it up. That didn’t help at all. In fact, the shirt highlights the fat even more.

Maybe a double layer will help. The plain sweater, camoflauge it all? Nope. That didn’t do it either. The fat still shows through even with the double layer. I am feeling worse and worse as every layer goes on.

Then I strip it all off and put on the flowy dress with the flowy vest and leggings. And it all feels covered, and nobody can see all of the dilemma I faced in that closet, the tears, the agony, the fight within myself.

I look over at that dress I wore one year ago when I was pregnant. Oh so pretty. Bought that regular dress so I could “wear it after,” but it still doesn’t fit, and that makes me just want to be pregnant all my life so I don’t have to worry about feeling fat anymore.

And then I hear crying from the room next door to that closet. Little baby. I enter, and there is baby standing up in her crib, and I grasp at the beauty I birthed from this body. This body, what I call fat, birthed this being. And enters another being I birthed, my son. From within this fat, came him too. And they are beautiful. And they love. And they are so much more than my fat, my feelings of inadequacy in my own body. And it all makes more sense, and it all puts it in a new light. And I grasp for the truth God speaks to my heart…I feel fat, but I am blessed. And God says I am beautiful.


Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4


  1. denise says:

    In God’s eyes you are His beautiful daughter, and that is all that matters.

  2. Tanya Pietz says:

    Thank you for so eloquently giving words to my own personal struggle and feelings. And for your beautiful reminder of God’s love and acceptance of us. We are ENOUGH…and accepted and loved and beautiful just as we are with all of our fears, failures and FAT! God has given you a gift…thank you for sharing that gift with us and not being afraid of being authentic!

  3. Monica Anderson Palmer says:

    I can’t even count on one hand or in one instant how much time I consume hating the “fat” but then I had my last child 6 yrs ago and weighed an all time low after her birth (go figure). I think what I actually hate is that the “fat” makes me think I know what others see and think of me, including the Lord. I let it dictate how I approach others and share experiences. sad, really. the real question in my heart is what am I doing to do about it and why haven’t I taken better care of this vessel God gave me! Thank you so much for being real! Real is beautiful on you inside & OUT 🙂

  4. Kathleen O'Donnell Grone says:

    Ah….. Such adorable angels you have there and YES, you are beautiful and our bodies do change as we have babies and get older but it’s OK to feel like you do. Your true beauty shines from within. Have a wonderful weekend with those angels!

  5. Kathleen O'Donnell Grone says:

    Ah….. So adorable angels you have there and YES, you are beautiful and our bodies do change as we have babies and get older but it’s OK to feel like you do. Your true beauty shines from within. Have a wonderful weekend with those angels!

  6. I’ve dealt with weight issues long before I had my little man 9 years ago. I began believing I was my weight. I didn’t know HIM therefore didn’t know who I was to HIM and in HIM. Only a few years ago I began believing who He said I was ~ fearfully and wonderfully made, made in His image.
    I love your heart and your transparency. Beautiful post…

    • Amy says:

      Stefanie, thank you for visiting. I’m blessed to have met you through the #CompassionBloggers and #fmfparty networks, and am looking forward to getting to know you even more in the days ahead. Although I have never had any serious weight issues, I have definitely waxed and waned in regards to my body image, which in my mind can be just as destructive to the soul. As I look at the areas of my body I hate worst – my stomach, my butt, my upper thighs, my arms – I need to remember those exact words “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” That is so awesome you have come to a place of peace and can share that with other women.

  7. Emily Downing Pitman says:

    Thank you for sharing your ‘getting ready in the morning’ blues. It is comforting to know there are others on the journey. The babies are beautiful.

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