It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is WELCOME. 

Ready. Set. GO!

My daughter dances. We’re at a new studio, so I’m still getting acclimated. Each week I meet and greet the few people I know, and find my secret place to watch through the windows. All in that secret space – my daughter’s class, the class across the way with middle school girls, and the class across the other way with high school dancers. The high school girls move me. The sassy song playing repeatedly, dancers in the dark, twirling and swirling, down on the floor, arms up, down, and all around. These girls are awesome, and I want to dance like them.

When I was a girl, I wanted to be a ballerina. In my adult years, I’ve daydreamed of being a back-up dancer for a singer. Fierce and powerful, without hesitating a single step. I want to be like that. Maybe it’s a mixture of beautiful ballerina and fierce backup dancer that I want to be?

These girls dancing. I watch them every week. The little ones behind me, the big ones in front of me.

This week, the high school girls came out in the hall, out of the normal routine. Alone with their phones for a bit, then talking.

My baby on the floor took one of their water bottles and started playing. They gathered around, in fact, hovered around. A girl I noticed had been quiet prior was now close by the baby. She told me she nannied for four children this past summer. Quiet girl with much behind those eyes, I had identified earlier as maybe being like myself, and now this love for the baby so evident, bright and shining. Then all the girls, loving on the baby. Just as they were. Just as I was. Just as the baby was. All quietly giggling, watching, admiring this baby, those sweet toes, those precious little hands pushing on the bottle making snapping and crackling noises and baby smiling up at the girls. I felt so welcome among these girls 20 years younger than me. Minimal words necessary. We were one. There is hope in this generation, camaraderie. Welcome.

Stop.

They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion; they will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord — the grain, the new wine and the olive oil, the young of the flocks and herds. They will be like a well-watered garden, and they will sorrow no more. Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. I will satisfy the priests with abundance, and my people will be filled with my bounty,” declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 31: 12-14

Amy

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last two hours of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is GRASP. 

Ready. Set. GO!

I admit, I’ve been having some body image issues lately. My baby is nine months, and I’ve been stuck five pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight for four months.

Last Sunday, getting ready for church, I was possibly at my worst. I stood in the closet, looking for what to wear. I put on a pear of my bigger pants. Even those didn’t fit. This is the problem I’ve had for months. Nothing fits except the leggings. Capri leggings in the summer, and now long leggings for the colder weather. None of the regular pants fit and it is making me crazy. Some say, “oh, just get some different pants,” or “don’t worry, you’ll fit into them soon enough.” But it has really been getting me down that NONE of the pants fit in my closet, and I don’t want to buy all new pants!

So this pair of pants, one of the bigger pair, was my best bet. I put them on and the fat rolled off the side just as I hated with every other pair. I wish I could just be ok with it and wear them that way. But I feel fat and uncomfortable with that fat rolling off the side.

Then I wonder if a shirt will help cover it up. That didn’t help at all. In fact, the shirt highlights the fat even more.

Maybe a double layer will help. The plain sweater, camoflauge it all? Nope. That didn’t do it either. The fat still shows through even with the double layer. I am feeling worse and worse as every layer goes on.

Then I strip it all off and put on the flowy dress with the flowy vest and leggings. And it all feels covered, and nobody can see all of the dilemma I faced in that closet, the tears, the agony, the fight within myself.

I look over at that dress I wore one year ago when I was pregnant. Oh so pretty. Bought that regular dress so I could “wear it after,” but it still doesn’t fit, and that makes me just want to be pregnant all my life so I don’t have to worry about feeling fat anymore.

And then I hear crying from the room next door to that closet. Little baby. I enter, and there is baby standing up in her crib, and I grasp at the beauty I birthed from this body. This body, what I call fat, birthed this being. And enters another being I birthed, my son. From within this fat, came him too. And they are beautiful. And they love. And they are so much more than my fat, my feelings of inadequacy in my own body. And it all makes more sense, and it all puts it in a new light. And I grasp for the truth God speaks to my heart…I feel fat, but I am blessed. And God says I am beautiful.

Stop.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Amy

September is Blog Month at Compassion International. As a Compassion Blogger, my goal is to share my heart for children in poverty and encourage others to change lives through child sponsorship. This is week number three of Blog Month. As of Monday, 1,515 children in poverty had been sponsored this month! 1,593 sponsorships are left to meet Compassion’s goal of 3,108 children sponsored in just 30 days. Together, we can change the lives of children.

If you feel called to sponsor a child through Compassion International, click here.

It was an odd week of anxiety and inspiration for me. Late Tuesday night, in the midst of swirling thoughts related to stress and anxiety I was experiencing about things done, things undone, and things that needed to be changed, I had inspiration for a blog series titled “Meet Me At This Moment.” I have a plethora of thoughts going on in my brain at any moment in time, and I thought it might be interesting to share glimpses of those thoughts with my readers! I have also been getting acquainted with a wonderful group of bloggers that meet on Twitter every Thursday night and write a blog post for Five Minute Friday centered around a single topic, all in just five minutes. I need a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts, and also need to work on writing (and living) without editing myself so much, so I thought Five Minute Friday and Meet Me At This Moment would be a perfect pairing!

So…here goes the start of what I’m hoping will be a new series on this blog, Meet Me At This Moment on Five Minute Friday. In the words of Lisa-Jo Baker, creator of Five Minute Friday, “We write for five minutes flat,” this is “Unscripted. Unedited. Real.” The word of the week is WIDE.

(And if you’re wondering how all of this ties in with Compassion International, just be patient, you will see!)

READY, SET, GO…

My life is way too wide at this moment. Too much stuff, too much to do, too much on my plate. Why am I to lead a life of wide? Three children to love, clothe, feed, educate, support. A husband to love, a marriage to nurture. A private practice that will balloon out way too wide if I let it. Always keeping things under control. The wideness will not stop. Dishes everywhere, crumbs, spots on the floor, laundry spewing, clothes unfolded, beds unmade, finger marks all over the fridge, water stains on the walls of the kitchen, remnants of fast food in the car, this show and that show to watch, books piled up everywhere, unread or partly read. A blog I so desperately want to use to widen my reach, open wide my thoughts and my feelings, open wide the stories of so many awesome people God has placed in my path.

Yet, the anxiety is wide. My thoughts race as I try to grasp it all, grasp any of it. I am torn this way and that, which thing to do first, will it all ever get done, will I ever have time to do it all? Should I even be doing it all? Which of it is worthy, which of it is not?

Then it is all put in perspective. I’m making macaroni and cheese and apples and caramel dip and milk and salad and tomatoes for my children, and my husband is gone on a three day business trip and I’m trying to participate in a tweet chat with the Compassion Bloggers. Here I am in my stress, moving this way and that way, my anxiety of this first world, preparing what is really a banquet feast for my children. All of my stresses really a blessing, I’m on my smart phone with an unbelievable group of people and all for Compassion International. What is the purpose, what is the point? We are all gathered to work together for children in poverty, children in need, families in need? What is the purpose, the point? I have a voice, the children do not. All the excess, the wide expanse that is my life, is all so narrow for someone else. For the little child in poverty, life is narrowed, the wide life completely unknown. All the wide open and available, if only the resources available. I can be that voice, in my wideness, I can provide for someone in the narrow. Even if it is just my voice. My wide expanse of a life can be narrowed to make someone else’s life wider.

STOP. (Well, good for my first try. I wrote for 8 minutes!)

If you would like to sponsor a child through Compassion, click here!!

On a related note, Compassion is having a Pinterest contest this week! The contest runs through Monday, September 23rd, so you still have three days to participate! Every contest entry gives you a chance to win a $25 or $100 gift for your sponsored child! Here is the rundown. If you want full details, click here.

1. Create a Pinterest board titled “My Sponsored Child.”
2. On the board you create:

• pin the image in this post and associate the following link with the pin:
  compassion.com/my-sponsored-child.
• pin any one of the following and tag this second pin with #mysponsoredchild.
  • A photo of you and your sponsored child together.
  • A photo of you with a letter from your sponsored child.
  • A photo of you holding a photo of your sponsored child.
• pin anything else you want that is relevant to your sponsored child or Compassion.

Once you have created your board, share the URL with Compassion International, along with your contact information, using the form at the end of this blog post.

You will receive one contest entry for every repin your “Pin It for My Sponsored Child” pin receives.

You can also enter the contest by sponsoring a child via compassion.com/my-sponsored-child during the contest period. You will receive 30 contest entries for each child you sponsor.

Amy