It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the wjords of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is DIVE.

There were at least three Meet Me At This Moment posts I could have written this week, but didn’t.

In which my daughter so innocently told me that her friend’s mom “never makes food like that…she makes all homemade food,” as I was making mac and cheese and hot dogs and I just needed to get something on the table.

In which I spent at least two hours searching and scouring a mall for the right dress to wear to my husband’s work party next week. And never found a thing that would satisfy.

In which I heard an outright lie in that dark place that’s been making me feel overwhelmed…you aren’t doing any of it well.

I wrote only one and didn’t post any. I’ve decided I won’t give those moments any glory. I’m tired of the muck, the mud, the ugliness of all that.

For I know I am called to be someone much better, to do something much greater. I want to DIVE into who I am. Oh no, I no longer wish to just dive into anything and everything. I’m ready to dive into God’s unique plan, just for me. And if that means changing things, taking new paths, diving deeper than ever before? I will.

Two years ago this month, my husband and I had just spent a long time praying whether we were going to have a third child. Our answer was YES. A month after that decision had been made, I watched the Grammy Awards and saw this band, Mumford and Sons, for the first time. There was something about their diving into the music, their diving into their craft, that captured my attention. I think of this performance often and admire these men for their courage to stand tall in their identity. Today, I challenge you to watch. Watch them literally dive into the music, into who they are as individuals. That guy on the keyboard? That guy with the bobbing yellow hat? They’re not so worried about making mistakes or doing it wrong or anything like that. And there’s no way you can convince me they care what people think. They’re just there to be who they are, to share their wonderful selves, their wonderful gifts with the world.

And if you’re actually going to watch? Be patient. It might take a few seconds for you to really see those heads moving, diving deep, deep into the music.

Mumford & Sons, The Avett Brothers and Bob Dylan Live at 2011 Grammys from Yaroslav Kunitsyn on Vimeo.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

Amy

I’ve crossed paths with this man more than once. This man who labels himself HOMELESS VETERAN on cardboard. On a street corner. In wealthy suburbs.

I saw him 10 minutes south at the top of an exit last spring and summer. Week after week, he’d be at the same spot. I saw him in passing from one therapy visit to the next, always running short on time. Only once did I have something to give him. I found it curious that he always stood at the same place, and I always saw him at the same time. Every week.

Months passed without seeing this gentleman, but just three weeks ago I saw him north 10 minutes at the top of another exit.

Gathered around the table, I talked about this man. How curious it is that I continue to see him, how long it has been.

Last week I found him again in this northern suburb, now in the heart of the city just two blocks from a mom with a fur coat and daughter with a fur vest crossing the street into a mall. My car approached him at a corner. This time I had something. Gave him a bottle of water and a bag of Doritos out the window. They were the only tangible things I had to give.

Thought a bit.

Drove around, watched him at the stoplight.

Headed for Arby’s to buy a sandwich, then realized I might be able to provide something more lasting than Arby’s for this man that has been on the streets, HOMELESS VETERAN sign in hand for months.

Scratched down the name of my church, names of the pastors, the street name, service times. All praying he might discover something greater, some help, some hope.

In a matter of seconds as I passed in my car, I handed him this scratched on piece of paper, he looked down and seemed to read each word as important. I uttered “I have seen you many times,” asked if he would like prayer from my blog readers, if I could take his picture.

“YES,” he said.

Join me? Take an opportunity to pray for a man in need? A veteran in need? And pray that next time I respond the way God would have me?

I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy. Psalm 140:12

Amy

This post was written as part of the Five Minute Friday link up. I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only. In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is OPPORTUNITY. 

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is WONDER.

Ready. Set. GO!

I wonder, yes I wonder. What am I to learn from these thoughts, these things that I see?

I wonder, yes I wonder. How to respond to this abundance of dancers in front of me? Wild and free, beautiful, graceful, spinning open wide for the world to see. Sit or stand, or dance more too? What is it Lord, you want me to do?

I wonder, yes I wonder. What to do with the soul that got lost in my fumbling early morning fingers, a video, an email. How is it, I am to respond? Which way is up? Which way is down? Which is your way? Or any at all?

I wonder, yes I wonder. This question that’s been asked. What does it mean? What is the answer? What do you want? Where will you lead? How will I know?

I wonder, yes I wonder. What is this quiet? And what is this noise? What am I to do with all of that, Lord?

I wonder, yes I wonder. Why so much? Why so little? Why such disparity? What is the message from you to me?

I wonder, yes I wonder. What is next? What should I do? What would you have me do? How would you have me?

Are you directing these thoughts, these ponderings to something specific, Lord? These jumbled up thoughts and random little visions, moments all together, faint glimmers of perfect sense. And I wonder. Is it possible these thoughts and these visions are from you? Is it possible that the linear, aligned, organized, planned visions I believe necessary for proper functioning are nothing but a figment of my worldly belief system? Unattainable fiction? Your ways, your paths, your fragments, your still small voice calling out, all seemingly random, but so clear in a new light?

Oh I wonder, yes I wonder.

Stop.

…”Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

Amy

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is QUIET.

Ready. Set. GO!

In the quiet.

In the quiet, I rock you and hold you and love you to pieces.

In the quiet, I calm you and carry you and drift you to sleep.

In the quiet, I take all that is yours and give all that you need.

In the quiet, I love you to the end.

In the quiet, I cradle you.

In the quiet, I say stop.

In the quiet, I’m sorry.

In the quiet, I’m so glad you’re here.

In the quiet, I say start over, it’s ok.

In the quiet, I thank you.

In the quiet, I want you to be the friend that knows it all.

In the quiet, I’m sorry I’m not that friend.

In the quiet, I want the drama to end.

In the quiet, I want to be released.

In the quiet, I want freedom to be.

In the quiet, I want frosted cookies and homemade soup in candlelight.

In the quiet, I want shelter, refuge.

In the quiet, I want meaning, depth.

In the quiet, I want more with less.

In the quiet, I want stuff removed.

In the quiet, I want more Him, less them.

In the quiet, I make a difference.

In the quiet, I am free.

In the quiet, I am me.

In the quiet, I will be.

Stop.

…”Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

Amy

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is ROOTS. 

Ready. Set. GO!

I’m closer to 40 than 30, but I’m still a people pleaser. I don’t just want you to like me. I want you to understand me. I want you to know the real me. I want you to know what makes me tick. I want you to know who I am.

Nearly impossible, I know.

Who really knows all of me but God anyway?

Recently, a comment on my personal Facebook page made me realize I care way too much what you think of me. It bothers me when I am misperceived, thought of as something I am not. It sticks in my mind, lingers. I hate how it lingers. What you say, how you respond to me can get to me. If I know deep in my heart that you don’t get me, that you don’t understand what it is I am trying to say, then I am frustrated. And those thoughts linger. You don’t know me. You don’t get me. How can I make you understand?

My husband says I care too much, it matters little what others think. He tells me to back off that Facebook page a bit. I say I can’t. Maybe I’m like an addict, looking for a high, but for one reason or another, come away feeling worse half of the time. I need to cut it off cold turkey.

Always second guessing on that personal page…Did I post too many pictures? Am I complaining too much? Too goodie two shoes? Talking too much about my kids? Sharing information that should be kept private, secure? Too vague, too detailed? Too shallow, too deep? Do you like the photo I posted of you? Are you offended because I didn’t mention you in that post, or because I did mention you in that post? Do you feel left out, should I feel left out? Did I offend you? Should I even be talking about this on Facebook? Do you want to hear about my vacation? Can I post more or is less better?

The thing I must do is go back to my roots. Give up this personal Facbeook page for a bit and get back to my roots. My authentic self, God, and who He created me to be. I’m me, and I can’t keep worrying about what you think. It is just getting to me. And I want to be me.

I am who I am. I need to know that is ok, even if you don’t understand.

Because the truth is this…the only one I have to please is God, by being me.

Starting today, I will be taking a 47 day break from posting on my personal Facebook page. In honor of my first born, my second born, and my last born. I will be an authentic role model.

Stop.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Amy