Dear Nikki,

I’ll admit. I felt like a bit of a nerd.

I got all ready, drove 45 minutes one way, picked up some cupcakes I special ordered for the event, and drove to the parking lot where I sat and gathered myself in the car for a few minutes before I was supposed to meet a bunch of strangers.

But not everyone was a stranger. We had developed a sweet relationship online, so I was really looking forward meeting you and a couple other women that day!

For the entire month of April, this (in) Real Life conference was the talk of the town among our community on Twitter. 6,000 women from more than 20 countries were meeting up in real life instead of where they usually meet up, online. I felt the nudge to attend our local meet up, and knew it would be good for me to step out of my safe little box.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, so I prepared myself for anything.

The room was quite full when I arrived. I looked around to see if I recognized anyone’s real life face from the tiny avatar I was accustomed to seeing on Twitter. When I found you at a table close to the entrance, I thanked God, made a beeline to the table, and took a seat next to you. You don’t have any idea how comforted I was by the fact I found you so quickly!

Our Minnesota (in)RL group was one of the largest in the country, if not the largest, so there were several tables of women. We were fortunate to have a bunch of wonderful ladies at our table. I’ll always remember the lovely pastor’s wife who sat across from us. She was motherly and warm and gathered us all in like her own. And Vicki, she was great. I sensed there was a lot more to her than she had time to reveal that day – such a kind soul, and she’s blessed me online since meeting that day. There were others too, but one woman in particular captured my attention, made me realize my instincts were trustworthy, spot on. That’s you, Nikki!

You see, over the course of almost three years on Twitter, I’d begun to develop some relationships online. You are one among a great community of online friends. When we tweet and read blog posts, it’s my belief that we’re seeing straight into souls. Real life facades and masks are stripped away in the Twitter and blogging communities I’m a part of.

So I had a feeling about you, girl. I knew in my heart you were going to be the real deal. I knew I was going to love you. I knew you were someone I’d be friends with in real life.

And I was right!

The truths I had stored up about you in my heart came to fruition that day. You were an amazingly sweet woman with a heart of gold, someone I’d be honored to call friend, just as great in real life as you were online.

So I want to thank you, Nikki, for being a real live example of why we can trust our instincts about relationships we’ve developed online.

I know in my heart that some of the women I’ve met online would be the most awesome of friends in real life. Our souls speak the same language. The only problem is that they live in California, Tennessee, Alabama and other far off places. But after meting you, I can trust that when I engage with my close circle of online friends, it’s the real deal. I can rest easy knowing they’re not baring their souls just for the fun of it. They’re speaking from  their heart. They’re speaking their truth. It’s who they are.

I’m so glad you were there that day, Nikki. I’m blessed to have met you and can’t wait to meet up again, maybe this time for a more intimate lunch or coffee date with kids in tow. 🙂

Here’s to forging ahead in relationship, believing truth and beauty are constantly being revealed online and (in) Real Life.

Amy

*If you’d like to read more from my #31Days Letters to the Unthanked series, click here for the landing page where all the letters are listed and linked!

Dear Jennifer,

I can’t thank you enough for the gorgeous picture frames you made for me almost two years ago!

I admit, I love beautiful things. I tend to be perfectionistic. And I’m convinced I’m a southern girl at heart who’s living in one of the most northern states you could find, Minnesota.

Take my love of beautiful things, add my perfectionistic tendencies, add my desire for something that just doesn’t exist in Minnesota, then add hormones and nesting that came with a third pregnancy – and you might have found me a little obsessed over a picture frame project two years ago.

You see, this was my third baby, so I knew exactly what to expect. This time around, I had made lists of all the things I wanted to get done before baby arrived. YES, definitely a little obsessive, but I even typed them up! All in all, I completed 160 items from my cycling to-do lists in the months leading to her birth.

On those lists were important things, like get the crib out of storage and set it up. On that list were also not-so-important things, like turn our older daughter’s dresser from a junk collecting area to a beautiful display area.

I knew I wanted picture frames for the top shelf of her dresser, so I began the search in an effort to check the task off of my to-do list. Easier said than done. If I know exactly what I want, I can occasionally become obsessive about continuing the search until I find it. I know an item exists if I look hard enough, long enough. And in this case, I KNEW there were gorgeous picture frames to be found. I just wasn’t finding them!

I looked everywhere. I was even creative about where I looked. But these elusive frames just didn’t exist.

After a while, I knew I had become obsessed and needed to bring an end to this, so I decided to turn to Etsy. Thank goodness, I found you and your gorgeous picture frames there! My search was finally over!

But of course, in all my nesting obsessing, I couldn’t just order what you had and leave it at that. I noticed you did custom orders, and really wanted the frames to coordinate with my daughter’s bedroom. So I engaged you with an email to see how I would go about placing a custom order.

There set forth a series of emails between the two of us. And ya, I won’t even go there. Amy obsessiveness at it’s worst (or best?). Remember I sent you detailed ideas about each frame? Colors, sizes, designs and patterns, bows and no bows, embellishments or no embellishments? You ensured me you were more than happy to do this custom work, but I was certain I was being more annoying than any other customer you’d ever had.

You shipped the picture frames to me just 10 days before our little girl was born. I couldn’t WAIT to open the box! Before I opened it, I looked at the return address. Arkansas. Yep, more proof there’s something about that Southern living, those Southern girls that makes me want to be one. I knew these frames were going to be awesome before I even saw them.

And they were.

The picture frames were absolutely GORGEOUS, more beautiful than I’ve ever seen. They matched my daughter’s bedroom and fit on her dresser perfectly.

For almost two years now, the frames have graced my daughter’s room with their beauty. While the two bottom shelves of her dresser have been stuffed with children’s books, trinkets, random memorabilia, kid jewelry, and hair pieces, the top shelf has been reserved solely for the frames.

Simple, classy, elegant, beautiful. Made by you with love, care and attention to detail.

Thank you for exceeding my expectations, thank you for making my vision come to life, and thank you for using your amazing gifts to bring beauty into the lives of others.

Amy

*If you’d like to read more from my #31Days Letters to the Unthanked series, click here for the landing page where all the letters are listed and linked!

***SPECIAL NOTE: Jennifer reported to me in an email this week that she “retired” from making picture frames almost a year ago. She moved and the distance between her and her twin sister Stephanie made it too difficult for them to work together. Stephanie still maintains and operates the Etsy Shop at Two Sisters Designs; she no longer sells the frames, but does sell a variety of VERY CUTE monogramed items! The shop is closed this week, but will reopen soon. Click here to check it out! 

Dear Stepsister,

We made a reservation for four at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort, 1900 Park Fare. We’d been there the year prior for the Supercalifragilistic Breakfast and it was wonderful, so we came back, this time for Cinderella’s Happily Ever After Dinner.

We were very excited to dine and meet Cinderella, Prince Charming, Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother, and the three Stepsisters, one of them you! Our reservation was late and the dining room was running behind, so we were among the last to be seated for the evening.

Shortly after we were seated, a dad, mom, and young preschool-aged child arrived and sat at the table next to us. I glanced at their table and made some quick observations when I overheard the parents engaging with the wait staff: 1) The child had very short, blonde curly hair and was wearing a blue shirt. 2) The child had some notable facial pigments or breakouts. 3) The parents were talking to the wait staff about their child’s food allergies.

As dinner progressed, Cinderella came to our table for a visit, as did the Evil Stepmother and Prince Charming. Next came the Stepsisters, one by one. You were the one in pink. ALL three Stepsisters were in full character, but you were really playing it up! When you came to our table, you embodied the Stepsister character completely. Note your “smile” for the picture with my children, and you were even crabby and feisty as you interacted with them at the table! Since we were among the last in the dining room, we were the recipients of some extra special treatment – you and two other characters engaged in dialogue with our children at our table, completely in character! It was definitely an intimate and “magical” Disney experience.

After you engaged with our children, you proceeded to the table next to us where the mom, dad and young child were seated. Up until this time, I had thought the child was a boy, but as you approached their table and I looked closer, I realized the child was a girl. She had put on a crown and was wearing a blue Cinderella t-shirt.

The little girl LOVED you and was clearly intrigued by your character. What caught my attention was that she kept giving you hugs, and she wouldn’t stop. It was as if this little girl was in desperate need of hugs, hugs, and more hugs. They weren’t just quick one-stop hugs you’d give any Disney character. They were long embraces, embraces that signaled I need your presence and comfort right now, Stepsister. I need more of that, Stepsister. You obliged and hugged her sweetly, as many times as she needed.

After a while, you were called away from the little girl’s table, as there were still a few other families who had not met you yet. We continued to eat our meal, as did the little girl and her parents next to us.

You and and the other characters wrapped up your time with the other families in the dining room, and by then, the room was REALLY clearing.

Then, I looked up and realized you were on your way to visit the little girl at the table next to us – again.

While you were still Stepsister, I could tell the little girl had captured your heart and there was something about the way you approached that signaled to me you had stepped out of character a bit. The little girl, of course, welcomed you with a huge smile and open arms, ready for more HUGS. You, of course, obliged.

You lingered at their table. And it was beautiful. The little girl I once thought was a boy, who had allergies and notable breakouts or pigments on her face, was being specially noted, cared for, and loved. You could have remained in full Stepsister character, been completely rude and passed right by after a first brief meeting. But no, you turned your interaction with this little girl into an art form, adapting and crafting your response so that child’s unique needs were met.

It was the spring of 2011. I had been feeling a call to write on and off since the spring of 2003. And it was another full year beyond our family’s encounter with you that I finally decided to start a blog.

But I want you to know – I’m certain I was supposed to meet you in that dining room that particular day, at that particular time. I’m certain I was supposed to see you interact with that little girl. I’m certain God knew I would be moved by your response to her. And I’m certain He wanted to use you and that little girl to call my attention to stories that needed to be told.

This story, your story, was one of a few that led me to believe that God had given me eyes to see stories unfold, stories that might otherwise go untold.

Today, I’m telling your story. A woman who gave it all – to a little girl who needed it all. One night, in a Disney dining room.

It’s not rocket science and it’s not mind-blowing headline news, but it’s precious, it’s meaningful, it’s a story that should be told.

So thank you – for your hugs, your character, your warmth and sincerity for a little girl, and for your inspiration,

Amy

*If you’d like to read more from my #31Days Letters to the Unthanked series, click here for the landing page where all the letters are listed and linked!

Dear Briana,

Sometimes we find ourselves in places we never thought we’d be.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we imagined only for others.

Sometimes we find ourselves in places so cold, so dark, so alone.

Time passes. More time passes. Even more time passes after that.

It’s still cold, it’s still dark, and we’re still alone.

After a while, the sheer volume of trauma and pain becomes almost unbearable, hard to believe, even for us in it, us who don’t have a choice.

So friends sift out. Because it’s too much to bear. Because they don’t know how to respond. Because it’s unbelievable. Because they don’t condone certain behaviors. Because they believe wrong paths have been chosen. Because they’re tired of hearing you talk about it all the time. Because they have their own lives to worry about. Because they want to believe life is all rainbows, puppies and butterflies. Because they don’t want to believe the fight of our lives is between good and evil. Because they don’t know how to sit in the center of someone else’s pain. Because it’s just way too stressful, too overwhelming, too emotionally taxing. Because it’s just too much. Because they believe there’s no hope anymore, no hope anyway.

Childhood friends, college friends, old friends, new friends, boyfriends, work friends, even church friends – they drift away, they’re sifted out – most slowly, a few suddenly.

Some days, some weeks, some months, some years, some many YEARS in a row – you’re drowning, and you need a whole crew of friends to swim out and rescue you.

But one day you wake up and realize there’s only ONE friend, two or three if you’re lucky.

It’s not ideal nor fair for ONE to shoulder the burden of care.

But really, it only takes ONE to believe the damage is repairable.

It only takes ONE to believe it’s possible.

It only takes ONE to hope, just a little.

It only takes ONE to throw a lifeline when you’re drowning in the storm.

And really, you only need ONE to sit on the shore with you and wait for the tide to pass.

So Briana? Today I want to thank you for being that ONE for my sister.

That halfway house wasn’t your run-of-the-mill place for a baby shower, nor the circumstances ideal for celebrating a mama-to-be and beautiful baby girl about to be born. None of us could have imagined any of it up.

But you showed up.

You were the ONE.

Your presence that day was a testament to true friendship. It was, perhaps, one of the most beautiful displays of friendship I’ve ever seen. You proved you’re the friend who’s there, even in the deepest of valleys. You proved you care, regardless of circumstances. You proved you’re willing to show up, even when it’s hard. Because real friends don’t just show up when life is running perfectly smoothly.

I’ve yet to fully process and understand that day, those weeks, those months, those years that proceeded and followed it. Nothing was “normal.” None of it was expected. And there was absolutely nothing ideal about any of it.

Circumstances had us at a halfway house for a baby shower, but there was an undeniable beauty about that moment. Me, mom, my sister, YOU, and a lot of ladies we didn’t know, who needed to know – there’s hope, reason to celebrate, always opportunity to circle around one another – giving thanks for the gifts we’ve received, the blessings we’ve yet to receive.

Thanking God for your model of true friendship,

Amy

SPECIAL NOTE: I want to take a moment to acknowledge that there are at least FOUR other friends I’ve personally seen show up in my sister’s life the past 9 1/2 years. I won’t name those individuals here, but I want you to know I’ve noticed your faithful and loving presence in her life. If you’ve read this far, you probably know who you are. Thank you.

*If you’d like to read more from my #31Days Letters to the Unthanked series, click here for the landing page where all the letters are listed and linked!

“At some of the darkest moments in my life, some people I thought of as friends deserted me – some because they cared about me  and it hurt them to see me in pain; others because I reminded them of their own vulnerability, and that was more than they could handle. But real friends overcame their discomfort and came to sit with me. If they had no words to make me feel better, they sat in silence…and I loved them for it.” – Harold Kushner

Dear Fairy Godmother,

It was a wonderful week. It was truly amazing.

We’d been on Disney vacations several times before. But this one was special. We brought both of our children to Walt Disney World for the first time, and dedicated the entire seven-day vacation to Disney.

After a long, late-night flight, our family unloaded at the Disney value resort Pop Century. We woke up the next morning, ate the first of many meals from our dining plan, and got right to it. Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom were our stomping grounds for six days, and just as we expected, all four of us loved it!

It was truly a vacation of a lifetime. No doubt – many more Disney vacations were in our future!

But there’s something you need to know, Fairy Godmother.

While I was enjoying the most spectacular week away at Walt Disney World with my husband and children, and most definitely wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else, I did find my mind wandering to another place.

Our whole family had spent the past 5 1/2 years battling a war against my sister’s addiction and mental illness, and then she found out she was pregnant. A few months into her pregnancy, she was ordered to a lock-down facility where she stayed about six weeks. While she was at that facility, doctors found a significant mass (CCAM) in the baby’s lung. A month prior to our visit to Disney, my sister had been transferred to a different facility where she was ordered to stay until she delivered the baby. The new facility was closer to the perinatal specialists and surgeons so the baby’s health could be monitored every week. Everything was in upheaval, and everyone was stressed out to the max. There were so many worries, and we didn’t even know if the baby was going to survive.

So you see, Fairy Godmother, I was a Cinderella-of-sorts that week. I was worn down, tattered all up inside. Nothing was certain, and miracles seemed near impossible.

I’d been successful at temporarily escaping reality that week at Disney, so I didn’t even realize I could use you until I found you that day at Magic Kingdom.

Anyone who frequents Disney regularly knows Fairy Godmother is a rare sight, but we found you hidden behind the castle. We were the first to discover you, so we took the opportunity to greet you before the crowd grew large. My husband knows me well, and knew right away you were EXACTLY the character I needed to meet and greet. So I leaned in close and he snapped the shot.

If you look at my eyes, Fairy Godmother, you’ll see I was almost in tears as I stood next to you, hidden behind that castle.

I know you’re not really magical, but Disney’s good at making days magical, so I accepted your presence for what it was. A sweet gift, a promise that miracles are possible.

While I couldn’t ask you to wave your wand and make it all go away, you brought me joy and a sense of peace. And in that moment, I knew it was all going to be alright.

May God continue to work through you to grace thousands with peace and the promise of hope in tattered times,

Amy

*If you’d like to read more from my #31Days Letters to the Unthanked series, click here for the landing page where all the letters are listed and linked!