It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the wjords of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is CHERISHED.

I dreamed of sponsoring children since I was a child myself.

Years passed, and that dream never faded.

Last August, we sponsored little Bethchaida from Haiti. Knit in her mother’s womb, handpicked by our family to love from a distance.

Last week, we received a packet for little Djino, our sweet correspondent child from Haiti. He has a sponsor, but we have the privilege of encouraging him through handwritten letters sent miles through the mail.

I want to love on these little ones, let them know they are precious, worthy, cherished.

In 2013, I have a goal to clean out my life (literally and figuratively) and start saving creatively for a Compassion International sponsor trip to Haiti so I can visit one or both of these precious children. We landed in Haiti just one day, and I feel a strong call to return. It is time to let these little ones know they are cherished and worth any and every sacrifice.

But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. Matthew 19:30

Amy

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the wjords of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is DIVE.

There were at least three Meet Me At This Moment posts I could have written this week, but didn’t.

In which my daughter so innocently told me that her friend’s mom “never makes food like that…she makes all homemade food,” as I was making mac and cheese and hot dogs and I just needed to get something on the table.

In which I spent at least two hours searching and scouring a mall for the right dress to wear to my husband’s work party next week. And never found a thing that would satisfy.

In which I heard an outright lie in that dark place that’s been making me feel overwhelmed…you aren’t doing any of it well.

I wrote only one and didn’t post any. I’ve decided I won’t give those moments any glory. I’m tired of the muck, the mud, the ugliness of all that.

For I know I am called to be someone much better, to do something much greater. I want to DIVE into who I am. Oh no, I no longer wish to just dive into anything and everything. I’m ready to dive into God’s unique plan, just for me. And if that means changing things, taking new paths, diving deeper than ever before? I will.

Two years ago this month, my husband and I had just spent a long time praying whether we were going to have a third child. Our answer was YES. A month after that decision had been made, I watched the Grammy Awards and saw this band, Mumford and Sons, for the first time. There was something about their diving into the music, their diving into their craft, that captured my attention. I think of this performance often and admire these men for their courage to stand tall in their identity. Today, I challenge you to watch. Watch them literally dive into the music, into who they are as individuals. That guy on the keyboard? That guy with the bobbing yellow hat? They’re not so worried about making mistakes or doing it wrong or anything like that. And there’s no way you can convince me they care what people think. They’re just there to be who they are, to share their wonderful selves, their wonderful gifts with the world.

And if you’re actually going to watch? Be patient. It might take a few seconds for you to really see those heads moving, diving deep, deep into the music.

Mumford & Sons, The Avett Brothers and Bob Dylan Live at 2011 Grammys from Yaroslav Kunitsyn on Vimeo.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

Amy

You are a special mama.

I hear you.

I see you.

I understand you.

I am with you.

That look, I recognize it. I see it. The way you look at your child. Your quiet, wondering eyes tell all. The way pain has settled in. What does this child’s future hold? Will everything be ok?

That voice, I hear it. Your anxiety, your worry, your being on the edge every moment. Your wondering who has the answers. Your wondering who can help me with this child? Your need to know you’re not alone. You’re not alone, that’s what you need to hear.

That feeling, I get it. That others simply don’t understand. They know not what you have been through. They know not what your child needs. They know not how to respond. Their understanding of what your child says and does is limited. Not by their own fault, but by virtue of not being you, not being in your shoes. You take not a single thing for granted when it comes to your child. Embrace that gift. Use it to hear, to see others better, more deeply. Live more fully.

That gut horror of yours, stop overanalyzing it. Did you do something wrong? Too much of this, not enough of that? Could you have done something earlier, something more, something better? Could you have prevented this from happening? Would a different parent have been better for this child? Accept this gift from me. You have done nothing. Your guilt is not warranted. Your gut leads you astray. You are the parent your child needs.

That joy of yours, that pride, I sense it. It comes overflowing in that moment. It takes your breath away. You never thought your child could do that, could be so great, could meet, exceed all your expectations. Believe it. Your child can do anything. Anything is possible. That triumph is yours. That triumph belongs to you and your child.

Because you are great.

You are courageous.

You are strong.

You are an amazing mama.

You can do it.

You can do this.

This is hard, but you are doing it.

You are doing it.

You are a special mama.

And I see you.

May the gift be yours to embrace.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Amy

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is WONDER.

Ready. Set. GO!

I wonder, yes I wonder. What am I to learn from these thoughts, these things that I see?

I wonder, yes I wonder. How to respond to this abundance of dancers in front of me? Wild and free, beautiful, graceful, spinning open wide for the world to see. Sit or stand, or dance more too? What is it Lord, you want me to do?

I wonder, yes I wonder. What to do with the soul that got lost in my fumbling early morning fingers, a video, an email. How is it, I am to respond? Which way is up? Which way is down? Which is your way? Or any at all?

I wonder, yes I wonder. This question that’s been asked. What does it mean? What is the answer? What do you want? Where will you lead? How will I know?

I wonder, yes I wonder. What is this quiet? And what is this noise? What am I to do with all of that, Lord?

I wonder, yes I wonder. Why so much? Why so little? Why such disparity? What is the message from you to me?

I wonder, yes I wonder. What is next? What should I do? What would you have me do? How would you have me?

Are you directing these thoughts, these ponderings to something specific, Lord? These jumbled up thoughts and random little visions, moments all together, faint glimmers of perfect sense. And I wonder. Is it possible these thoughts and these visions are from you? Is it possible that the linear, aligned, organized, planned visions I believe necessary for proper functioning are nothing but a figment of my worldly belief system? Unattainable fiction? Your ways, your paths, your fragments, your still small voice calling out, all seemingly random, but so clear in a new light?

Oh I wonder, yes I wonder.

Stop.

…”Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

Amy