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It’s been one week since Christmas and it’s still New Year’s Day. In my longing, constant working for this unattainable earthly perfection, it’s easy to find imperfection even in Christmas things and New Year things. Yes, joy is easily stolen by things. But take heart, joy remains. For moments cannot be stolen. Moments of joy, moments of peace, moments of love, moments of grace. Moments that matter.

This remote control car. He loved it. It was a favorite on Christmas Day. Before we left, I put it in the box and taped it up all safe so no harm would come between there and home. But somewhere along the way, my husband thought the same and took the antennae off the remote for safe keeping. It got misplaced between there and here, and now just a week old, the car won’t work well at all unless we can find this teeny tiny antennae. Nowhere to be found. Not in boxes, not in bags, not on the floor. The missing antennae momentarily stole my joy. I nagged, irritated with my husband for taking the antennae off, mistakenly thinking he was directly responsible for losing it. “That was his favorite! What a waste! I hate when stuff like this happens!” I exclaimed.

It’s just a little remote control car, I tell myself. It’ll show up. If not, I can call and see if they have replacement parts.

And this Mickey Mouse ornament. Little Mickey’s body broke right off his foot when I picked it up to put it back in the box this morning. It crumbled in my hands. There was no stopping it. Box read $19.95. This magical ornament played music, had lights. Now worth nothing. Gluing that big body on a tiny foot would prove pointless and fall right over. Only worthy of throwing straight in the garbage.

It’s just an ornament, I tell myself. Stop thinking about it and just throw it away. By next year, you’ll forget you even had it.

And the Meier’s sparkling apple juice? We let our 10-year-old plan New Year’s Eve. This was the special drink he had chosen for us, and we forgot only to find it in the back of the fridge this morning. Idealistic thoughts run through my mind….we could have, should have cheered in the new year with that sparkling juice, memories were for the making.

It’s just juice, I tell myself. Clearly, we didn’t even miss it. We’ll drink it another time and it’ll be just as fun.

He got the tank for Christmas, and the fish just moved into their new home yesterday. This morning, already one missing. They found it dead by the filter. Daddy got it out. Little yellow fish, dead in a sandwich bag for one final viewing. Didn’t even last one day, I don’t even want to look at that dead fish, this is daddy’s job!

It’s just a fish, I tell myself. That’s the way it goes. He’ll learn about life and death, and then he’ll get a new fish.

All this in just an hour or two.

The gifts, the decorations, the food and drink, the whole array of activities we use to entertain at Christmas, to ring in the New Year sometimes block, even mask the real joy we seek. These things can steal our joy with their promises of a better life, a more fulfilling life. But things don’t bring joy. They may bring temporary joy, but not lasting joy.

It is moments spent with those around us that matter most, that bring real, long-lasting joy.

All those frustrations with things can be reframed as moments to be treasured with people…

Watching our son play with that remote control car, cousin chasing and laughing behind him in the kitchen.

Little ones waiting in anticipation to see what that ornament would do, a button pushed, Mickey sang and they smiled, memories flooded in of our Disney vacation together.

Our son poured over his choices on the top shelf. Which sparkling juice to choose? Apple or pear, cranberry or raspberry? He chose apple, and mama liked the way he so thoughtfully made that decision.

That same son, the way he peered into his tank and didn’t think twice about that dead fish. It was only mama who was grossed out, who cared it died, who was anxious it might happen again, but so glad he could move beyond.

And today, joy was found in our little baby. A snotty, crusted nosed baby with a little food dried on top for color.

Yes, my husband and I delighted as our baby toddled around. Sister and brother put her hat on inside, and neither of us were in a hurry to take it off.

She toddled around the corner right over to her favorite place…the spice rack. Salt and ginger, black pepper. She examined, she shook, she dropped all over the floor.

And there was joy. Joy in that moment.

Yes, the joy of Christmas, the hope and promise of a new year can be stolen right out of our hands if we get stuck worrying about getting and keeping things perfect. Doing everything perfectly.

Yes, the joy, the hope, the promises of things better lie in moments. Moments noticed. Moments delighted in. Moments cherished.

This year, join me as I strive to simplify and focus on moments that matter. Moments with ones loved, ones dear, ones completely unknown but just as dear.

For I still need to learn it is NOT about keeping things just so, not about doing “it” right, not about getting “it” all perfect.

This year, I step into the freedom of grace. The joy of moments with others. Never predictable, very rarely perfect, but always beautiful.

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24:3-4

Amy

Today, insights on living from two anonymous elderly women. The first, a woman I met months ago at Target. The second, a woman I met four days ago at Cub Foods. I wondered and ruminated over the first encounter for months, but it only made sense in the context of the second. Some learnings take months, even years to unfold. Had not my heart and eyes been open, this story, this lesson, would not be.

It was spring. I entered Target, baby heavy in the infant carrier wrapped around my elbow. It was no usual day. Yes, the week had been hard. There were things happening I didn’t understand. Things that made me cry, things that made me want to hide in a bubble, things that weren’t working. I had come to Target with a heavy heart, misunderstood, humbled, quieted. I wanted things right with the world again.

I walked to the string of carts just inside the door, like any other day. I noticed an elderly woman getting a cart in front of me, cane transferred from hand to cart. Baby and carrier in my left hand, I pulled at a cart to loosen it from the string of others. Got it. Started moving it forward and slightly to the right, but realized the front wheel of my cart had hit this elderly lady’s foot.

Shocked my sense of body space had failed, “I’m so sorry ma’am, I didn’t see your foot there,” I said.

“Didn’t you see ME there?” said this elderly woman in a tone shaming to my ears.

“I’m really so sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean to do it, I didn’t realize I was so close to you.” I pleaded, on the verge of tears.

“You don’t have to be so cross with me,” she said. “You look so cross.”

Knowing in my heart I had been misunderstood, I apologized again, trying with all sincerity to make her understand I was NOT cross, but was very sorry for this mishap. To this day, I’m confident she did not understand, did not believe what I had to say. She thought I was cross and that I was a rude young woman in a hurry. As she departed, I wanted so desperately to chase after this woman and explain my heart away until she understood it all. But I didn’t. I just milled and milled, then finally had to talk about it with someone because this had cut to my core.

I spent the last seven months trying to make sense and make good of this incident. Out and about, I took time to really see seniors, acknowledge them, engage them in conversation. Maybe I just needed my eyes opened to the elderly, I told myself.

And then there was Saturday when all the pieces came together.

An elderly lady appeared from behind as I paid. I wasn’t expecting to meet this saint of a woman in the checkout line at Cub Foods. Warm, inviting jewel tones, pink lipstick, silver white hair, an unforgettable smile, and kind eyes that had seen much. She noted the cashier’s light, asking “Are you supposed to be closed? I see you turned your light off since I got in line.” Young man explained he was going on break once we were through. Elderly lady exclaimed “Oh good, you really need a break to take care of yourself. Good for you.”

She turned towards my children who were obediently packing bags of food as I had asked, smiled at them, then at me. I saw her notice and was intrigued by this woman. I felt comfortable to share I was proud because they stayed up really late at a sleepover the night prior and could be behaving much worse considering it was almost bedtime. As she passed with her two or three items, she so sweetly commented to my children, “I would be much worse off if I stayed up that late! You two are doing very well helping your mom. You have a great night.”

Sweet. Kind. Compassionate. Full of grace. A woman that notices, a woman that takes time to look deeper into the hearts of others. Not to mention as beautiful and poised as a woman could ever be. That’s who this elderly woman was and I was honored to have met her even for just a couple minutes.

And this time? This time, I wanted to chase after the woman and tell her how wonderful she was and how she was full of such grace and beauty, and how I admired everything about her in just a couple minutes of experiencing who she was. But I didn’t. I sat with it and thought how stupid it was to have left my camera at home and reveled in how magnificent this encounter had been, how it so strongly contrasted with my experience at Target months ago.

And so it is. We have a choice about how we will be in this world. We can fill others’ carts or empty them. We can choose to be a victim, leaving others feeling unsure, as if they failed or did something wrong. Or we can choose to be a warm, lovely ray of hope in this world, encouraging, noticing and loving others, and always full of grace.

May the elderly woman at Target experience acknowledgment and love from those in her circles, and may the elderly woman at Cub Foods continue to bring joy into others’ lives just as she did for me that day.

As for me, I need to surround myself with people that build me up, care for me, and love me for who I am.  May I not live life as a stressed out victim, but with grace and peace and love and joy, so others may see the light in me.

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.  Matthew 5:14-16

Amy

It is my joy to introduce you to Anne! If I were to name someone the Godmother of my blog, it would be Anne. She embodies everything I want this blog to be about.

I have been taking Anne’s cardio kickboxing class at Lifetime Fitness for six years. Being a group fitness junkie, I have tried almost every class that exists at two nearby Lifetime Fitness clubs. There is just ONE class, ONE instructor that has managed to keep me inspired and motivated to come for SIX. WHOLE. YEARS. Anne.

Let me tell you about Anne…

Anne is a master teacher.

Anne understands people.

Anne motivates.

Anne has a good sense of humor.

Anne exudes excellence.

Anne is quietly confident.

Anne has energy that anyone would admire.

Anne gives it her all.

Anne inspires.

Anne is disciplined.

Anne is a role model.

Anne encourages.

Anne reminds us that we are strong.

Anne stretches us and pushes us to our limits.

When I first started taking Anne’s kickboxing class, we met in a large studio. Given Anne’s master teaching abilities, it was not at all surprising that the studio became notably overcrowded. Management moved our class to the gym and it seemed the class quadrupled in size overnight. Now, it appears there are 100-200 people in attendance every week.

Let’s take this a step further….

Yes, Anne is a master teacher, as evidenced by the list of personal attributes above. What is it, though, that she taps into that makes so many people want to attend her classes? What is it that this one man experiences simply watching Anne’s class every week while on the treadmill? What is it about Anne’s heart and specific giftedness that keeps people coming back for more?

I am deeply curious as to why so many people come to Anne’s classes, and I am even more curious as to why they keep coming back week after week, year after year. It is impractical for me to interview every person to gain more insight as to the why, so all I can do is offer some personal insight.

First and foremost, Anne is the only person in my life who has been able to get me to the point where I am so focused I am able to completely zone out everything except what I am physically doing with my body. I am constantly thinking. Anne manages to help me stop thinking and overthinking, even if it is just for one hour each week. Anne reminds me that I can do great things. She reminds me that I can do anything. Anne motivates me and makes me want to be a better person. Anne makes me want to go harder, go faster, go longer. She pushes me to the limits of my physical self, yet somehow I miraculously feel the most awesome and alive I’ve ever felt reaching those extreme limits. She reminds me that it is good to take care of myself. Anne is so reliably excellent that even in the midst of life’s deepest pain and hardships, I can go to her class knowing without a doubt I will feel better when I leave.

Last, but not least, Anne reminds me that it is not all about me. It is about offering ourselves, it is about using our gifts to bring joy into others’ lives. Every week at the end of class Anne reminds us to “spread the joy.” Anne, I promise I will do my best to spread the joy. Thank you, Anne, for the deep joy you have brought into my life.

Today I challenge and encourage you…

What are you doing to strengthen your body, to nourish your soul, to push yourself to the outer limits?

What special giftedness did God create in you that others can’t help but notice?

How are you spreading the joy?

Is there someone you feel compelled to mentor, to love a little more, to spend time digging a little deeper with on a regular basis?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

Amy

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