On November 6, 2011, I posted this on Facebook.

“YES! I have been carrying a huge burden of STUFF for a few years now. Tired of managing stuff, too much stuff, especially burdened seeing our unused kids stuff. As we were cleaning out the basement yesterday, I just told my husband again how I would LOVE to be able to send off some of this kids stuff DIRECTLY to kids far away that have nothing and would appreciate and use it so much. Today, I see a post from Jillian on Facebook who is adopting two children from Haiti, requesting specific Chistmas gifts for children at the orphanage. She tells me they are bringing 12-15 suitcases next visit & lists specific needs of children. LOVE how God has provided me with the opportunity to serve others in the exact way I have been yearning for.”

Jillian responded later that day.

“I love how God works like that! His timing is perfect!”

I couldn’t agree more. His timing is perfect.

I’d watched the TV commercials about child sponsorship. I’d committed to reading every post from Compassion International, Help One Now, and World Help blogging trips from all over the world. And I’d been a loyal follower of my brother’s friend, Jillian, on Facebook as she and her husband have been in the process of adopting two children from Haiti. But the rubber had never hit the road for me until that day, November 6, 2011, when Jillian reached out on Facebook, indicating help was needed to purchase Christmas gifts for children at the orphanage in Haiti.

I felt strongly that this was the best opportunity I’d ever had to jump in and make a difference in the life of a real child in need, so I sent Jillian a message asking for gift ideas and “anything else [she] thought might be helpful at the orphanage.” She sent me a list of five children who still needed a gift for Christmas. Djondarly wanted a Transformer. And Valencia wanted rise-and-shine breakfast play set. Jillian included pictures of the little ones who still needed a Christmas gift. Who could resist these sweet faces? Wouldn’t we all be more generous if we could see the faces impacted by our giving?

So Djondarly and Valencia it was!

I ordered the Transformer and rise-and-shine breakfast set online and packed two apple boxes with clothing, shoes, receiving blankets, toys, and books. I sent the boxes with my mom who brought them to Jillian, and Jillian packed all of my stuff in suitcases she brought to the orphanage later that month.

It was a blessing to provide for children in need. The rubber met the road that November 2011. And for that, I am forever grateful.

God’s timing was and is truly perfect. Everything that happened between then and now? It came together like clockwork. It’s hard to deny God’s hand in every step.

Because Jillian diligently posted updates about their soon-to-be adopted children, I developed a special heart for the people of Haiti.

Because Jillian reached out for help, indicating there were still children who needed a Christmas gift at the orphanage, I had the opportunity to set my childhood dreams into action. The rubber had finally hit the road.

Because of Jillian, I’d developed such a love for Haiti, that when we began planning a family vacation five months later, we had no hesitation considering and booking a cruise that stopped at Haiti for one single day – even if it wasn’t your typical cruise destination.

Because of Jillian, I thought just maybe we’d get the chance to spend our one day in Haiti visiting the orphanage, including her two adoptive children-to-be. And when I discovered there was no way that was going to happen, we thought maybe we’d sponsor a child and spend our one day in Haiti visiting him or her. But when I discovered there was no way that was going to happen either, we decided we’d sponsor a child anyway.

So we did.

My daughter and I chose little Bethchaida from the Compassion International website that August 2012. She was sweet with her mint green dress and white ribboned hair. The longings of my little girl heart had finally been fulfilled.

I didn’t know then, that I’d be visiting Bethchaida and another little boy now. But Jillian? She had a hunch way back in November 2011 that I’d want to Go.

I was pregnant, in fact, about to deliver, when I purchased those Christmas gifts and packed the apple boxes for Haiti. When I sent my final message to Jillian letting her know my mom had the gifts and apple boxes and would be delivering them to her house, she responded with this, just days before she was scheduled to leave for Haiti.

“Awesome!!! Thank you so much! If you weren’t having a baby I would say you should come with us!”

I was just a girl.

I watched shows like Brady Bunch and Little House on the Prairie like they were going out of style. Chips and dip and pink frosted cupcakes were my after-school vices of choice.

But God was at work in my little girl heart, even though I had no history of hearing His still small voice, even though I had no knowledge of what was to come.

Because He knew.

He was molding my heart, making it His. He was placing in me the deepest desire to see, to help, to understand need when I saw it.

So what does any of this have to do with Brady Bunch and Little House on the Prairie? Let me explain.

Marcia Brady was kind and witty, a leader at home and at school, she wasn’t afraid to light the fire in her bones. And Laura Ingalls Wilder captivated my heart like no other – when she battled mean old Nellie on the playground, when she was desperate for Manly to call her Beth, and when she became mama to sweet baby Rose. But it was the moments in-between Marcia and Laura that stole my little girl heart for a lifetime.

Yes, this is what I watched in the in-between.

I was just a girl. No credit cards. No financial means to make a monthly payment. No independence to make that phone call. And didn’t even think to engage my parents about this tug on my heart to sponsor a child.

Those were the earliest days, the earliest recollections of this calling that’s come full circle.

Through the years, time and time again, this commercial and countless others like it, stopped me dead in my tracks. There was something about the children that called out the depths of my little girl heart.

Time passed. Lots of time passed.

Christian Children’s Fund television commercials morphed into Compassion International blog posts from Guatemala, Tanzania, Haiti, and elsewhere.

Blog posts morphed into Facebook posts from my brother’s friend adopting children from an orphanage in Haiti.

Facebook posts morphed into a seemingly random opportunity to impact real children from that orphanage in Haiti.

One random opportunity to impact children in a Haitian orphanage morphed into planning a family vacation which included a one-day stop in Haiti.

Planning a one-day stop in Haiti morphed into sponsorship of a little girl in Haiti.

One day on the ground in Haiti morphed into correspondence with a little boy in Haiti.

And sponsorship of ONE little girl and correspondence with ONE little boy in Haiti morphed into the clicking of ONE little button that meant – yes, it’s time to GO. I’m beyond ready.

I’ve been dying to tell you, jumping out of my skin with excitement since I quietly clicked that button July 1, 2013.

I’m going to Haiti.

The dream, the calling, it never went away. In fact, it only became stronger, clearer with time.

So I’m going, and soon.

I’ll be visiting our little girl and little boy in Haiti on a sponsor trip with Compassion International. And blessings will be sure to flow when I get to meet their families, extended families, friends, and communities they do life with on a daily basis.

I already know what you’re going to ask…this isn’t so much a mission trip as it is a love mission. I won’t be building water wells, houses, schools or bridges. But I will be flying thousands of miles to let people from the poorest country in the western hemisphere know – they are loved, cared for, worthy of absolutely anything and everything. I’m prepared to face the brutal realities of poverty like never before. But I’m also prepared to receive incomprehensible gifts of joy, peace, hope and love like I’ve never known.

Before I go, I’m hoping you’ll join me as I review the steps I’ve already traveled to get to this place. As I get closer to leaving, I’ll share insight into the little and big ways I’ve prepared to go, what I’m excited about, what I’m scared about, what I’m hoping for and believing in. Because retracing the paths God’s had you on, and preparing to walk down them even further – is pretty cool. It makes His plans evident, and gives us hope that He’s ordained every day in advance.

He’s prepared a table, a place for each one of us.

I’m confident he’s set this table for me.

And I’m ready to go. So join me, will you?

As with my #31Days series, I’ll put a graphic for this series on the blog home page. Find the graphic and click to link back here where I’ll include links to every post I write between now and when I return from Haiti. Whether you’re joining me live, in real time, or after the fact when I’m home and settled back into everyday life as I know it, it’s an honor to have you be a part of this life-changing journey.

Amy

Other posts in this month-long series:

When Rubber Hit the Road

Meet Our Brothers and Sisters in Haiti

Crazy

The Quiet Before the Story

10 Nitty Gritty Details About My Trip to Haiti

Will You Stay In Or Step Out of the Box?

Strangely Beautiful

When A Mama’s Beautiful Baby Boy Is Going To Be Your Sponsored Child

How to Empower Girls

Why We First Need to Feed Those Who Are Hungry

Why We Can’t Just Pass by Poverty

Re-Entry

The Boy Who Stole My Heart

With and Without Translation

Journey to Haiti (slideshow with music)

Haiti. Where My Heart Longs to Linger.

The peace and joy caught me by surprise. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday too, for a grand total of four days of more peace and joy than I’ve experienced in a long time.

It’s not like I was giddy, off the wall for four days. There were certainly troubles and stress to be had. Most likely, nobody even noticed the peace and joy but me. But I’m telling you, when it’s rare for you to admit with all honesty that ONE day’s been a good day, then it’s a real rarity for FOUR IN A ROW to be good days.

And then I got to thinking. There has to be something to this peace and joy.

What’s the “magic formula” for good days? Giving and Receiving.

I started to write all the things that happened over the course of four days and realized, I’ve been on the receiving end of all of these events but one. I’ve spent a lifetime giving and doing, but I’ve NOT been receiving. Well, at least not very well. I’ve been so bound and determined to do what’s right for everyone else and in everyone’s else’s eyes, that I’ve never opened myself enough to fully receive the gifts God wants to bestow upon me.

Let me share what four days of peace and joy looks like. If you’re anything like me, you need to know this NOW.

But before I start, let me point out that in order for this formula to work, there MUST be one who gives and another who receives. This giving and receiving is mutual, from the heart, not contrived but completely authentic, and ultimately beneficial to both parties.

So here goes…14 ways to give more generously and receive more freely in 2014.

1) Look someone in the eyes and ask “How are you doing?” Only this time, really mean it. Don’t move on until you have their real answer. If there are tears, so be it. You’ve done your work. You’ve actually asked them how they’re doing. And now you know. Be glad you asked, because they really needed you to ask. If you’re on the once in a year receiving end of this question, seize the opportunity. Let your guard down. Be real. Take a chance. Allow yourself to be heard.

2) Ask for help. Just straight out ask for help. Do you need support, prayer? Then ask for it. You might just be surprised at all the people who are willing to extend a hand. Accept their offerings as gifts.

3) Tell someone you’ve been praying for them, and really mean it. That means you actually need to start praying for someone, keep praying, and then pray some more. Do it in the quiet, don’t make a big announcement. After a while, when the time is just right, tell them. Tell them anything like “You’ve been on my prayer list since ____ and will continue to be to the end of my earthly days.” Catch them off guard, assure them, then go pray some more.

4) When times are tough, and when times aren’t even that tough, make a meal for someone. If you’re fortunate enough to be on the receiving end? Say yes. Just say yes. And thank you very much. Days later, when you notice the cake plate’s empty but one piece? Put that last piece on a plate and wash the cake pan. Your act of kindness won’t go unnoticed.

5) Offer to watch someone’s kids so they can get their hair cut. And if you’re presented with the opportunity? Seize the moment. Let them take your coat, get you a water, hang your purse, massage your head, style your hair when they’re all done – even if you’re not going anywhere.

6) When someone’s 18-minute drive takes them 1 hour and 18-minutes because of snow and ice, buy them coffee or tea, and have a donut waiting for an extra surprise. Greet them warmly when they arrive, make them feel as if you’d wait all day for them if needed.

7) When someone confides in you, listen. Listen hard. Listen for the things untold. Listen for ways you can help next. And then wait. Let them know, later, that you really heard them. Caught a glimpse of each other as you passed in the hallway? Don’t let the moment pass. Turn back. With just one sentence, without saying it outright, let them know – I heard you, I want you to succeed, I understand who you are, I’m still here for you. Do little things to root for another along the way.

8) Share your wisdom through whatever means necessary. And if you’re on the receiving end of this gift? Soak it in. Take it to heart. Then Go. Live it out. For real.

9) When someone’s moved you, impacted you so much that you can’t keep it inside anymore, tell them. Let them know they made a difference in your life, even if it’s a little uncomfortable. It might just mean the world to them.

10) Buy something for someone who has more needs than you can humanly satisfy. Then prepare yourself to Go. Meet them right where they are. Go beyond your borders, out of your comfort zone, just Go. 

11) Give generously and creatively to someone who has more than they ever need. Because they don’t need more things. They need to see and receive the love and generosity of the human heart. Let the little child buy you cookies with money from their piggy bank, let them use up all the play-doh to create you a plaque that says “best parents ever.”

12) When your God-sized dream comes up when you’re least expecting, in the most unlikely of conversations, and now you have to reveal a bit because there’s no other way out? Don’t run from the truth. Share it. Speak it. Get those dreams and desires out of your mind and out into the world. In speaking even just a bit of your truth, you might just discover there’s a reason that person’s been in your life all these years – they have a similar God-sized dream as you. And now, you’ve given someone the gift of confirmation, maybe this really is God’s plan for me?

13) Surprise your love with more than just a bit of bling. Wear it, receive it, know it’s a gift – for you.

14) Sing the song of your heart. Let your voice be heard. Don’t silence the artist inside of you. And when it’s time to watch, time to listen to another’s masterpiece, do it up big. Turn up the volume. Sit in the middle of the room. And let yourself be rescued.

Amy

Dear Readers,

I’ve referred to God-sized dreams more than once in the 17 1/2 month history of this blog.

For many reasons, I’ve chosen to be vague about my God-sized dreams, both on this blog and in “real life.” It’s been a personal journey, and truth be told, nobody knows ALL the details except me and God.

Two people know the big, sweeping picture of my God-sized dream, one of them my husband, the other a trusted friend who understands who I am.

I’ve sought council from two wise and spiritually mature individuals regarding my God-sized dream. They’ve provided a listening ear, helped me sort things out, and worked me through some practical, emotional, and spiritual stumbling blocks.

I’ve shared glimpses of my God-sized dream with three other individuals who have been more than supportive, but know very little of the real dream.

And I’ll be honest, it hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies. I’ve learned – not everyone is suited nor ready to hear another’s God-sized dream. Because it is, well, a God-sized dream.

Having a God-sized dream means that deep in my heart, I’m preparing myself to be open, willing, ready, to live out the unique and very best life God had in mind for me when He created me. I’m ready to fulfill His purposes – for me.

While I’ve been more than grounded my whole life, and I’ve always wanted to do what’s right, what’s expected, what’s best, I fully realize that my God-sized dream is truly a little crazy. Let’s face it folks, I’ve learned one thing very quickly – when you really start talking God-sized dreams, you are GOING to feel a little crazy! It’s not going to make sense. It’s going to seem far-fetched, unrealistic, impossible. But because you believe and trust that God wants what’s best for you, you follow His plans, His call anyway.

With all that in mind, it’s time to cut to the chase.

Today, I’ve revealed how tightly this God-sized dream of mind has been held for a very specific purpose. I’m hoping to invite a few of you in a little closer to my dreams. I’d like to form a small group of individuals who would be willing to serve as a support and prayer team for my blog. Because I’ve come to realize I want and need more support on this journey.

I’ve been thinking about this for months. I’ve debated whether I should email individuals who might be willing, or whether I should send an open invitation on the blog. While there are likely at least three, maybe up to six individuals I believe may feel called to take on this role, there may be more I haven’t thought of. That’s why I’ve posted this here today.

So how do you know if you’re the person I’m looking for, and what will I need from you if you join the support and prayer team? Here are some questions to get you thinking…

1) Do you consider yourself a faithful reader of my blog? “Faithful” is relative, but I’d love for you to be an individual who usually reads at least half of my posts, ideally, most of my posts. If you haven’t read most of my posts, have there been at least a few that have deeply moved you, caused you to see differently, convicted you to live your life differently?

2) Do you plan to continue being a faithful reader of my blog?

3) Are you willing to thoroughly read email correspondence from me once or twice a month?

4) Are you willing to pray for me and my God-sized dreams at least once a month (specific prayer requests would be noted in email correspondence)?

5) Do you consider yourself to be wise, intuitive, spiritually mature or spiritually maturing, a little bit creative, open-minded, and willing to hear more details about the unfolding of this God-sized dream of mine? (There are NO age requirements, by the way.)

6) Are you willing and able to keep all communication with me in STRICT CONFIDENCE, regardless of your personal relationship with me, unless I specifically communicate that I’m making public a given piece of information? (If you feel you’d be tempted to share and/or chat with others about my dreams without my knowing, then I’d prefer you not indicate interest. I understand this sounds a little callous, but confidence and trust is important to me at this point in the journey.)

7) Do you have a special heart for me and/or what I’ve shared on this blog to date?

And last, but not least…

8) Do you feel called to this role? Is there something nudging you saying “yes I’d really like to do this,” or “yes this is for me?”

Still reading? Do the above criteria fit who you are? If so, please complete a brief survey here, including your name, email address, and any notes you’d like to leave me, and I will be in touch with you very soon!

PLEASE NOTE: I expect there to be a very small group of individuals who see themselves in the above 8 points. I’m looking for a team of 6-12 individuals at most, so only respond if you’re truly feeling called to do so. Today, as I publish this post, I’m believing there will be at least three that will respond, and that would make me just as happy as 6-12! 🙂

ONE MORE AWKWARD NOTE: I’d prefer to limit the support and prayer team to people outside of my immediate family. My husband is welcome to join if he so chooses, and I will keep him in the loop regardless, but I prefer to keep my immediate family in the loop in more intimate and timely ways as feels appropriate within the context of our personal lives. Extended family is more than welcome to indicate interest.

Amy

One of my favorite bloggers, Holley Gerth, authored the book You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream. Do you have a God-sized dream? Want to know more? Check out Holley’s book, blog, or the new website God-sized Dreams for more information.

UPDATE 1/20/14: A big thanks to the 12 individuals who agreed to serve on my support and prayer team! I’m feeling beyond blessed by the outpouring of your support, and believe I have a complete team at this time. I officially closed the survey on the blog as of 1/16/14, but if you feel strongly and specifically called to join the team at any point in the future, please contact me via email at amybpederson@hotmail.com! Thanks everyone!