My spirit was broken.
It felt as if every passion, every desire, every love, vision and dream had been stripped from my soul and I was being asked to face all the truths of reality.
It was brutally quieting and humbling.
Yes, one month ago, I sat meek and mild, hunched over in the middle of our laundry room with huge piles of clean and dirty clothes all around me. I folded the mess and spoke my deepest, most intimate needs through tears as my husband passed on his way out to another 12-year-old baseball game.
“I just really need someone to root for me,” I said, among other significant truths.
This wasn’t a husband vs. wife fight. This wasn’t a me against the world fight. This wasn’t a pity party. This was a spiritual battle, a kingdom battle of eternity vs. reality. An asking all the big life questions kind of moment. An asking what’s the purpose of my life kind of moment, and who’s really, truly in this with me kind of moment.
After all…
“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12
I needed to know someone was rooting for me.
I needed to know someone was by my side no matter what.
I needed to know that someone really understood what was going on in my life, in my heart, in my mind, in my soul.
I needed to know that someone completely and wholeheartedly understood and embraced my dreams and visions, even if they’re a little or a lot crazy.
I needed to know someone had my back.
I needed to know that someone was following my story, that someone cared for every detail, that someone was willing to sit down and hear me all out.
I needed someone to believe in me.
I needed someone who understood my most authentic intentions.
I needed a real, live breathing body willing to take time to really get to know me, say “you go girl,” and be all in with me and for me.
I needed more than surface things.
I needed someone who was willing to go far beneath the surface to things that really mattered.
I needed to feel known, tended, and supported for who I was, for who I am.
We’re free and brave in the USA. We love our independence, our autonomy. We’re busy, we’re bound and determined to make a whole lot of things happen to achieve the American Dream in our own little corner of this great land.
But I’m concerned.
I’m concerned we’re far too busy, far too independent, far too bound and determined.
Many of us are missing out on real, deep, authentic connection.
I’ve been told a few times that I’d never share things in “real life” that I share here on the blog.
It’s true.
Or maybe not…
In some cases, I share way more on the blog than people think I should, way more than others would, way more than makes people comfortable.
Do you know why that is?
Because our lives are SO crazy busy that there’s no real place for sitting with someone for hours and learning where they are, who they are, what their greatest dreams and insecurities are on any given day. How many people do you REALLY know? I’m just asking, because generally speaking, I think we’re far too busy to give one another the real time of day.
I’m so over “How are you?” “Good.” “How are you?” “Fine.” I don’t even want to ask or answer anymore.
If you want to know the real me, we honestly need at least a couple hours together in good hearty conversation, maybe three, four or more (without kids). Who has that kind of time these days?
So I share here for those who are willing to listen, for those who are willing to join in the conversation. Real, authentic conversation. Deep, meaningful, sometimes dark conversation. Faith, fun and adventures, dreams and visions, living and loving through the hard and easy stuff, too.
I don’t know about you, but right now, I don’t have a place for the connection and depth I need as a human being. Real, long-lasting community is hard to come by these days.
Our busy culture concerns me.
We’re missing out on connection and authenticity.
People need to be known.
People need to be understood.
People desire these things deep in their souls.
So often, we’re just passing by hurting, needy souls and don’t even know it.
I’m weary of living on the easy, breezy surface.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…” Matthew 7:12
This morning I woke up with fresh perspective.
I must be the change I wish to see in the world.
I must do for others what I would love to have done for me.
I need to be way more intentional about learning people, knowing people, speaking life to them, understanding them right where they are.
I need to be way more intentional about hearing people, understanding them, believing in all of who they are.
I am going to ROOT for the special group of people God puts in my path every day.
Because somebody needs encouragement. Somebody needs to know they’ve been heard. Somebody needs to know they’re doing okay. Somebody needs to know they’re on the right track. Somebody needs to know they’re known.
This isn’t so much about helping people as it is about knowing people.
This isn’t a “rah rah sis boom bah” kind of rooting. This is a quiet rooting, a listening, hearing, embracing and wholly understanding another human being right where they are, right where God’s growing them and leading them.
I’m rooting for you, friends.
Be the change you wish to see.
Root others on.
Root on.
We must.
I love this Amy! Be the change you wish to see. Such truth!
I often feel like we are fighting “the ways of the world” and are way too busy…lacking deeper connections and meaning. Thanks for your posts, Amy.
I’m that special someone that can and always be there for you—-the whole list you wrote about! I love you, care about you and I’ll always be there for you as long as I’m on this earth and after. Love you!!! XO Mom
I can relate to so much of this because I have abandonment issues. I often ask “who will be rooting for me?” Such a great, transparent post. These are the kinds of blogs that help people feel less alone! I understand why you share so much. I do the same thing, and I sometimes receive negative feedback for it, but I check it with God, and that’s all that matters. Keep on keepin’ on! So glad I stopped by today from #EspressosofFaith via #RaRaLinkup!
Hi Bonnie, Thank you for stopping by and for your encouraging words. I think we all want to know who’s going to be there for me, who’s going to stick by me, who’s going to care enough to really know me? One of the primary goals of my blog is to help people know they’re not alone in whatever they’re experiencing in life, so I’m glad you saw that in this post. Blessings and peace to you, Bonnie.