Meet Me At This Moment

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Meet Me At This Moment for Five Minute Friday post! I spend the last hour of Thursday chatting it up with a group of authentic and inspiring Five Minute Friday bloggers on Twitter (#FiveMinuteFriday #fmfparty). One minute past midnight EST Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker gives us a single word prompt and we all write a blog post centered around that word. We write for five minutes, and five minutes only! In the words of Lisa, this is “unscripted. unedited. real.” You meet me at this moment in time…my thoughts and opinions, my joys and sorrows, my dilemmas and dreams. And I receive one of the greatest gifts ever…a regular outlet for processing and expressing my thoughts without constantly editing myself. This is my life, my perspective, unfiltered.

The word of the week is ROOTS

Ready. Set. GO!

I’m closer to 40 than 30, but I’m still a people pleaser. I don’t just want you to like me. I want you to understand me. I want you to know the real me. I want you to know what makes me tick. I want you to know who I am.

Nearly impossible, I know.

Who really knows all of me but God anyway?

Recently, a comment on my personal Facebook page made me realize I care way too much what you think of me. It bothers me when I am misperceived, thought of as something I am not. It sticks in my mind, lingers. I hate how it lingers. What you say, how you respond to me can get to me. If I know deep in my heart that you don’t get me, that you don’t understand what it is I am trying to say, then I am frustrated. And those thoughts linger. You don’t know me. You don’t get me. How can I make you understand?

My husband says I care too much, it matters little what others think. He tells me to back off that Facebook page a bit. I say I can’t. Maybe I’m like an addict, looking for a high, but for one reason or another, come away feeling worse half of the time. I need to cut it off cold turkey.

Always second guessing on that personal page…Did I post too many pictures? Am I complaining too much? Too goodie two shoes? Talking too much about my kids? Sharing information that should be kept private, secure? Too vague, too detailed? Too shallow, too deep? Do you like the photo I posted of you? Are you offended because I didn’t mention you in that post, or because I did mention you in that post? Do you feel left out, should I feel left out? Did I offend you? Should I even be talking about this on Facebook? Do you want to hear about my vacation? Can I post more or is less better?

The thing I must do is go back to my roots. Give up this personal Facbeook page for a bit and get back to my roots. My authentic self, God, and who He created me to be. I’m me, and I can’t keep worrying about what you think. It is just getting to me. And I want to be me.

I am who I am. I need to know that is ok, even if you don’t understand.

Because the truth is this…the only one I have to please is God, by being me.

Starting today, I will be taking a 47 day break from posting on my personal Facebook page. In honor of my first born, my second born, and my last born. I will be an authentic role model.

Stop.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Amy

  1. Hi Amy,
    Thank you for your honest words…as someone, who is past 40, I am still learning to find my approval first and foremost in Him…still learning…and the only way I can change is by soaking in His Word and His love…that is what my FMF post was about…Good to meet you…blessings 🙂

    • Amy says:

      Thanks for stopping by Dolly. Yes, this is something I am working on daily. It is good to know we are not alone. Blessings to you, and will be looking for your FMF posts!

  2. Cooper says:

    Good post

  3. Carol Femling says:

    You are like me, your mom. I am always accused of ” caring too much”. I’ve been told many times that I need to get a “thicker skin”. I hope this blog you wrote didn’t occur because of what your dad commented on…the warm weather in the South. I know you better than anyone and I know that you always try to do your best…AND…you think before your speak or do anything. Don’t let anyone get you down. You are a fantastic and gifted woman with much to offer to people and the world! Love you!

  4. Carol Femling says:

    You are like me, your mom. I am always accused of “caring too much”! I’ve been told many times that I need to get a thicker skin. I hope this blog didn’t occur because of what dad commented on–the warm weather in the South. I know you better than anyone and I know you always try to do your best… and…you think before you speak or do anything. Don’t let anyone get to you. You are a fantastic woman! Love you! 🙂

  5. Tiffany Femling says:

    The more I read, the more similar we appear to be! You have some of the same thoughts that I have, sister.

  6. denise says:

    Such a great post.

  7. Mary says:

    Love this! I think you are a lot like me. I like your husband’s advice too. I’ll take it as well! fb is addicting. Great post. Blessings.

  8. Tom Baunsgard says:

    Dear Amy,
    You are right, who really knows each of us the best? God knows! And I’m thankful that not only does he know me and all my imperfections, he still loves me. What a comfort that is in this crazy mixed up world.

    Please continue blogging and when you return to Facebook posting in 47 days, remember that we can please some of the people we deal with but not all. As for all my facebook friends, i know that some of them do not care for my political point of view or for that matter some of my postings, but they are free to tell me that they don’t approve and free to try to convince me that some of my ideals are wrong. They are free express their Ideals and Ideals. That freedom to speak their beliefs is one of the most wonderful rights we have…

    Thanks again for your blog postings, They are divine in the daily!

    Tom

    • Amy says:

      Tom, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I can really appreciate your perspective, specifically on freedom. I don’t remember where I got this quote, but I have been carrying a post-it in my purse for weeks that says “You’re not free until you have nothing to prove and you’re not trying to impress anybody.” I wish I would have written down who wrote it so I could read more of their material. I haven’t been able to bring myself to throw that scrap piece of paper away. I guess I need it! 🙂 Maybe during this time I will find freedom to express myself without reservation, without worry about what any given person is going to think or how they may respond. Our freedom to express ourselves IS a gift. Amy

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